Elaine

At some point you have to come into your own. You have to declare your independence. You cant spend the rest of your life dwelling in a perpetual state of apprenticeship. Dont get me wrong. Im not advising that you be a renegade. Lets not get the message twisted.

Let me say, on the record, I believe you should be a life-long learner and always, always, always, remain teachable; at least to a degree. Why only to a degree? Ill tell you. There are some areas where you have to learn to trust yourself. You cant always ask other folks for their two cents. Sometimes, they think they know what you need to do, when in reality, they are way off the mark.

Side bar: For all of the controlling and manipulating individuals out there, this post will make you mad. For those of you who are tired of being controlled and manipulated, this post will set you free!

See, listen, you cant spend the rest of your life as a blank slate, waiting for someone else to write the script for your life. Dont you do it girl! Dont let people come into your world and just start making you over. Noooo. Dont do that. Do you eat everybodys potato salad? My point exactly . . . some folks just think they know what theyre doing. But, Lord have mercy, they dont!

What has worked for them in their lives may not be at all what you need. What they like, you may despise. And thats okay. It just means that you cant allow other people to continuously dictate what you should be doing and how you should do it. Furthermore, you have to learn how to keep people at bay. You cant let everyone inside your world. Otherwise, theyll overstep their boundaries and try to take over your life.

Why am I telling you all of this? Heres why.

Its very easy to subjugate your thoughts and feelings when you have dominant people in your life. You know those kinds of people, right? Theyre outgoing, articulate, strong-willed, opinionated and sometimes, well-meaning. But the problem is theyve made themselves ruler over your life when you werent soliciting their help.

Hear me now. Some people are predators. They prey on people they perceive to be weaker than they are. They pretend to know more, have more and be more than they actually are. If you dont watch yourself, youll be fooled by them. Youll call yourself giving them an inch and before you know it, theyll take a mile. Theyll end up with your keys, in your drivers seat, while youre relegated to the passenger side.

Youll stand passively by and let them run your life for you.

Child, you better stop giving up the wheel and turning it over to drivers that arent on your insurance policy. Come on and talk to me now! Some folks will take the vehicle that youve spent your money on and drive it into the ground . . . if you let them. Once the damage is done, your insurance wont cover the repairs because they werent authorized to drive in the first place.

Heres my main point. You have to declare your independence and demand your freedom. No one is going to give you that. You have to take it. You have to decide that youre not willing to allow anyone to play God with your life. Furthermore, you have to have enough confidence in yourself to know you have what it takes to be self-directed, self-sustaining, and self-sufficient.

Its Independence Day!

For America this is the 231st year. For you, this may be your very 1st year. Still, make up your mind today that you are strong enough, bold enough, wise enough and confident enough to write your own script.

Snatch your keys, take the wheel and get yourself back in that drivers seat. Above all, recognize that God has given you amazing creativity, talent, as well as, resources to get you where you need to be. The sky is the limit for you. This is your day of freedom. Take it back!

Happy 4th of July!

Until next time . . . may you be empowered to prosper!

2007 EEW Magazine. All Rights Reserved.

Dianna Hobbs is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Empowering Everyday Women Online Magazine, the premier online magazine for African American Christian women. This article is taken from Dianna's highly popular blog series called, Dianna Hobbs: Empowering Everyday Women. It is circulated to thousands of Christian women in search of inspiration for their ministerial and entrepreneurial efforts. To receive these exceptional articles directly, simply log onto http://www.diannahobbs.typepad.com and subscribe to our email updates. To read EEW Magazine log onto http://www.eewmagazine.com