Elaine

Dealing with rejection is something we all have had to contend with at some point in our life. It could be rejection by our parents because we did not get the highest grades in school, or rejection by our peers because we just do not fit in the crowd, or rejection by our boss because we may not be the best employee in the company. Rejection comes in varying degrees. The question is: how does one deal with it?

You cannot avoid rejection but you can heal from the pain of being rejected. How?

1)Make it a point to communicate with other people - particularly family and friends. It helps to have people close to you whom you can trust when you share the feelings of rejection you are experiencing. Even famous people find it beneficial to have a certain group of confidantes whom they can confide in and who they trust will support them through times of rejection.

2)Keep a diary. In this diary, you will jot down details about events that affect you and how any feelings of rejection may have come about. The nice thing about a diary is (in the words of the writer Anne Frank) paper is patient. Meaning, no matter how bad you feel and how angst-ridden you get on paper, the diary will always be available for you to write in. Make the diary a catharsis for your emotions so you will not brood about how you were rejected.

3)Yes, paper is patient - so why not write the person who rejected you a letter? In this letter you will express all your bad feelings. The nice thing is, you will never send this letter to the person who rejected you. The purpose of this exercise is to help you get rid of your feelings of rejection then bounce back to normal.

Now, perhaps you tried all these methods but you still hurt inside. Well, in cases like this, you may do well to practice avoidance instead. Avoidance means:

1)Steering clear of places where you might run into the person who rejected you - at least, until you feel up to a confrontation with the person.

2)Dodging friends whom you and the person who rejected you have in common. Like avoiding places, avoiding common friends gives you space to let time heal your wounds. Common friends might ask awkward questions that you just are not ready to answer.

3)Taking different routes to school, home or work - that way, you will most likely not run into familiar places or people that would remind you of the person who rejected you.

Another method you could try out is to stop yourself from attempting to control the other person. It is inevitable that you might attempt to exert control over the person, particularly if he or she is close to you. If you keep trying to control the other person, you may only wind up getting rejected all over again.

Bear in mind that as you try to get over your feelings of rejection, you must try to take as good care of yourself as possible. It is possible to make yourself physically ill by brooding on feelings of rejection. Take care of yourself by:

1)Eating healthy and nutritious food. Some research shows that stress (such as that caused by conflict) can cause people to develop nutritional deficiencies.

2)Sleep well. If you find that you feel exhausted after a confrontation, treat yourself to a well-deserved nap. Sleep will help you feel much better.

3)Get enough exercise. A robust jog, or a lap in the pool has the potential to make you feel better. This is because of the endorphins that are released by your body during exercise.

You may know of some other ways to deal with rejection. But do take note of these ways of dealing with rejection and try them out.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters